At the moment I’m in therapy. Let’s say that first. It took me a while to go to a therapist because I was afraid of reactions from others. First of all, it was believed that therapy was only for weak people. But the first thing I thought was that I needed to get out of all the negativity! And I had to do something. I started to reach out to a therapist. And it paid off somehow. I am not there yet, but I know for sure I will eventually.
In life, I was just doing without any thinking as I was doing because things feel right what I was doing. Nothing wrong with that at all, but sometimes you need to think before getting into action. So you consider what to do before even taking action. I also had the feeling (yes, I’m saying that again) that I didn’t understand the meaning of life or things that (could) happen in life.
To be honest, now I do understand a few more things about life I was afraid of letting in. I knew all these things all the time but people told me my whole life such things don’t exist or I’m not allowed to let certain things happen, because then you’re not strong enough. But my therapist told me you’re strong to let your emotions in and feel it. That is not a weakness.
Now, I let in my emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Secretly, I already did. But not realizing I was doing that. And I can tell: it feels amazing. But it is scary too. When I let my emotions in, I feel other things too: I am capable of things I was not sure I could do. Most of the time, I am trying to feel what I feel and overthink what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling those emotions.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ― Helen Keller (writer)
During those sessions I have learned a few things:
- Both points of view in situations are aright. There is no view wrong. One another interpret the situations from their point.
- Act calm and count to 10 when the heat is on in a discussion.
- Walk away when something gets too much in a discussion.
- Talk to each other about deep stuff in a relationship.
- I needed to trust more instead of being defensive.